AUTOMOTIVE NEWS: Bandit is Rolling in His Grave in Atlanta, GA as 0-60 Times Deemed Absolutely F**ki
Auto companies proudly advertise increasingly fast 0-60 times for their models, which begs me to ask the question, Why? Seriously, for what purpose are these stats used for? Nobody actually comes close to achieving these times in their daily driving. The modern American driver is either so petrified of the accelerator or they're busy texting, eating buckets of lard, snap-twattering or getting their dicks sucked. Granted the last reason does have its merits.
I am currently residing in Denver, CO where the influx rate of 1,100 new residents per month has created a driving nightmare. There are several reasons for this but I tend to think it's the legalization of marijuana that tops the charts ... for everyone in Colorado is stoned, much like everyone in New York is gay and could break out into song and dance at any given time.
Another reason is that Denverites haven't realized that they have to start driving like they're in a city with a metro population of over three million (there's a lot of stoners meandering about). That means that to get as many people through an intersection, after the light turns green, one has to step on the God-damned gas pedal! Green means GO!
"Put the metal to the pedal and the thing on the floor..."
In the film, Smokey and the Bandit, Burt Reynolds stars as a renegade truck driver who accepts a bet to run a tractor trailer full of Coors beer over county lines in hot pursuit by a jack-ass sheriff, played by Jackie Gleason. The real star of the film was the 1977 Pontiac Trans Am that the Bandit used to block for the loaded up semi.
Big Enos and Little Enos, the father-son duo, played brilliantly by Pat McCormick and Paul Williams, propose the bet to the Bandit during a semi-truck rodeo. an excerpt from the exchange went like this:
"There's 400 cases of beer, I'll need cash for that," Bandit begins.
"That's no problem, go ahead boy," Big Enos replies and directs his son, who starts begrudgingly, to count out some $100's.
"A new car ... I gotta have a new car to block for the truck, ya know." Bandit
"Go ahead, boy." Big Enos
"I'd like to kick his ass just once," Little Enos grumbles while counting out more bills.
"A Speedy Car," Bandit adds while Little Enos keeps counting ... "Speedier than that."
Little Enos ends the scene with a disgruntle horse nay while he keeps on counting.
The Trans Am was considered a damn speedy car at the time. One of the quickest cars that you could buy and yet, it had a 0-60 time that was slower than 8 of the top selling vehicles sold in the US for the year 2016. No joke ... a new Toyota Camry, Honda Accord and a Ford F-150 full-size truck, are faster than a '77 Trans Am. So again, it begs the question, WTF?!?
It's not like everyone is driving Hyundai's!
Step on the gas pedal, ya jack-asses!!! Put the phones, buckets and bongs down ... zipping up is optional.
Here are the 0-60 times of the top ten selling vehicles in the US for 2016, compared with the Trans Am:
1977 Pontiac Firebird "Speedy Car" Trans Am: 0-60 mph 7.7 | Quarter mile 15.9
2015 Ford F-150 Lariat SuperCab 4X4 2.7L EcoBoost: 0-60 mph 6.1
2016 Chevrolet Silverado 2500HD 4X4 Crew Cab: 0-60 mph 7.3 | Quarter mile 15.7
2013 Ram 1500 SLT Quad Cab: 0-60 mph 7.4 | Quarter mile 15.6
2016 Toyota Camry Hybrid SE: 0-60 mph 7.1 | Quarter mile 15.5
2016 Honda Civic LX Coupe: 0-60 mph 7.6 | Quarter mile 15.9
2015 Honda CR-V EX: 0-60 mph 7.5 | Quarter mile 15.9
2016 Nissan Altima 2.5 SL: 0-60 mph 7.4
2016 Honda Accord Sport Sedan: 0-60 mph 7.0
Only the Nissan Rogue and Toyota Corolla were slower than the Trans Am
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