EPA Announces World Fart Day! Scott Pruitt "I Love Climate Change! Blaze Your Asses Up!"
In the last 100 some years, we've added 6.5 billion people to the planet. If 6.5 billion people farted, we'd see drastic climate change, let alone an aversion to methane...
This article is dedicated to one Michelle Grab ... with love and gas
Over the Christmas recess Scott Pruitt encountered the Son of Stimpy after having a Cone of Silence meeting with the Village Idiot, which gave him an idea. "We could warm up the planet if everybody farted ... and if we could get 10% of them to light their farts on fire, well then son, we'd have ourselves a ballgame!"
The Northwest Passage, as Wiki describes:
"For centuries, European explorers sought a navigable passage as a possible trade route to Asia. An ice-bound northern route was discovered in 1850 by the Irish explorer Robert McClure; it was through a more southerly opening in an area explored by the Scotsman John Rae in 1854 that Norwegian Roald Amundsen made the first complete passage in 1903–1906. Until 2009, the Arctic pack ice prevented regular marine shipping throughout most of the year. Arctic sea ice decline has rendered the waterways more navigable for ice navigation."
(Footnote...The cheapest way to send stuff around the globe is by ship)
"If we get all the peoples of the world united to relax and pass a bit of gas, we can get that Northern passage opened in no time!" ...Taken from the Scott Pruitt autobiography, "All We Need to Do is to Pass Some Gas!"
As Administrator of the EPA, Mr. Pruitt has taken an unconventional stance on Climate Change. Unlike the Village Idiot's view, Mr. Pruitt whole-heartedly believes in Climate Change and that the lot of us are quite responsible for it.
His question is this:
"As we sit here in 2018, do we know and understand what the ideal global average temperature should be in (the year) 2100? ...and moreover, CO2 is valuable. It can be used, just like methane, actually"
... and there it was!
"We all gotta open up our passages so we can get those stubborn northern passages to open up! ... Happy Global Fart Day, everyone!"
Scott Pruitt
P.S. "Lightin 'em up is optional but greatly appreciated... Thanks y'all!
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