Latest Epidemic: SPORKING! Asphyxiating Gay Men Worldwide!

The American Medical Association (AMA) has recorded a dramatic spike in deaths in gay, bisexual, and other mens who have sex with mens (collectively referred to as the MSM's) groups, caused by the new trend of Sporking.

Sporking, as defined by the AMA, is when four or more men sleep in semi-prone, tragic-fetal, desperate-yearner, or erect-free-fall positions while having their penises and anal cavities rhythmically adjoined. Injuries and deaths have occurred due to the tragic miscalculation of "What to do with the spare arm?"

Studies have revealed that, as the Sporking groups grew in participants, so grew the extra limb conundrum. As all those extra limbs began to fall asleep and numb, unobserved by the sleeping Sporkers, they turned into deadly asphyxiation devices.

"It was nuts. I fell asleep between Brady and Wesley and woke up to Brady's morning wood on one side... which was totally awesome btw ... and an ice cold vice shriveling me up on the other," Chad, an accomplished Sporker described. "It was a total boner killer, although it didn't kill Wesley's wood, according to Jesse, who just described a chilly wakeup."

The high incidences of Sporking deaths among MSM's were first observed after studies revealed a disproportionate amount of little spoons in the gay community, whilst big spoons were nowhere to be found.

Their solution, do both! The more guys, the more satisfaction. Chad went on to say, "Sporking meant that ya had to do some work but in the end (& you know what end I'm talking about) there was satisfaction. Until, of course, guys started dying, which really killed the vibe"

The AMA has issued a warning, suggesting a return to Spooning and that prongs be put away as Sporking has led to Knifing.

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