Set Your Puppies Free! & I Need More Pussy! ... cats
Once upon a time, mankind decided to subdue and suppress (domesticate) one of the most majestic of beasts, the wolf. What ensued can only be referred to as an abomination of that stunning breed, which subsequently, has now enslaved mankind much like our forefathers enslaved them, or have they? I present ... the dog.
Yes, that furry four legged creature that has been erroneously crowned with the title, "Man's best friend". I propose a different title, "Man's perpetual baby" or "Man's prisoner".
Please don't get me wrong. I like dogs (some). I've had a few. They're great but somewhere along the way we've evolved from pets and owners (I too find the title repugnant but I'll get to that in a bit) to attention craved children that consume unmeasurable amounts of time, monies, and emotional support from their Mommy's and Daddy's.
Unless I've been unaware of a sudden rise in bestiality, human's aren't "mom's, nor dad's, nor auntie Lynn's, nor brother John's", nor any other bloody human moniker relating to the canine species. I can only suppose this to be a bizarre fetish but it is not. It is a rampant state of affairs!
It is cringeworthy to witness a woman cradle her "precious booby-wooby" and countlessly regale upon it how much "Mommy loves her baby... yes she does ... yes she does!" only to witness that same "precious" piss on mommy's shoes not ten minutes later (admittedly with some sense of schadenfreude) and receive no disciplinary action. I'm not proposing seventeen lashes followed by the guillotine but come on! What happened to the word "No!"?
Mind you, the dogs aren't to blame for this but rather the dog owners are, yes, yes ... "parents of pups" or whatever moth fearing, ass wiping title they bestow upon themselves and consequentially upon us. The dogs are just taking advantage of the freedom, much like a spoiled child would who's never heard the word no before. It naturally runs amok. To train and say no to an actual child is one thing ... and that word should be said with far more frequency to most children these days, but I digress. To train an animal to adhere to said no makes me wonder. Is it morally right to train a dog or any animal?
We all know that cats cannot be trained. A wholly different set of perimeters flank the feline world than the canine. The "Fuck You!" persona that a cat exudes, which simultaneously enamors and infuriates us, denotes freedom and independence.
Dogs on the other hand, take to training far too easily. They are broken and weakened and are simultaneously subservient and conniving for it.
Cats start out as kittens and then mature to cats. Dogs never achieve this. Of course, cats rely upon us but if need be, they'd figure out how to survive without us and probably eat us in the process. Unlike dogs that live life as overgrown children, never to achieve independence. They'd go out and find a new master.
"Not remembering any meal but the last. Can't see forward to any meal but the next. And every time you shut the door and leave the house, they howl like you're gone forever." Archmaester Ebrose describing dogs.
One of the main reasons a dog owner argues that their koochy-poochy-whoochie is superior to that bitch-faced cat that just hissed at them in the hallway is that cats don't care about us. I side with the hissy bitch-face. Consider this:
Let a cat out. It'll come back after it's done with its adventure and if it's not on its ninth life. Sometimes that day, or the next, or four months later but it will usually come back with a dead mouse, bird, rabbit, thumb, snake or squirrel in its mouth, which it will drop on the ground before you. Of course it knows that you're not interested in it so it will eat it at it's leisure but still, it presented a gift of thanks to you (& yes, you've got to commend it, for fuck's sake, cats are toffee-nosed aristocratic elitists!).
Dogs are fluffy, furry and loving but they are also conniving ... and rightfully so. Unlike cats, that seem to disregard any notion that humans are superior to them, dogs fall into a weakened state that has created an entirely different perimeter of decorum in the United States, circa 2019
The other day I witnessed a brunch goer ask the host of the restaurant if she could bring her precious gumdrop onto their patio. The fellow declined but offered a seemingly amicable solution. The exchange was presumably a frequent one for the host. It went something like this:
"We don't allow dogs on our patio but feel free to tie him to our fence."
"Tie him to the fence? Are you you kidding me? Would you tie a child to a fence?!?"
"Well, no. We would not ask you to tie your child to a fence. That would be inhumane."
"That's exactly what I'm saying! It's inhumane! How can you ask me to tie up my baby to a fence?"
"We're just offering, not asking, that you could tie up your 'dog' to the fence while you have brunch."
"I could never do that to my baby! You're a fucking asshole! I can't believe that you'd ask that, etc..."
The thing is, she really believed that that dog was her baby. That's the insidious part.
Cats are independent. Dog owners/parents hate them for that. They want their puff-balls to need them. That's the most disturbing thing about dog owners. They designed it so dogs would be dependent upon them. Always in their debt and gratitude.
I see a torment that lives deep inside almost every breed of dog that I've encountered (my first Rhodesian Ridgeback, cleverly named "D" by my sister, none-withstanding. She had a feline 'Fuck you' look), which leads me to the moniker of "prisoner".
.
They are, without a doubt, the largest penile colony in the U.S. and that's saying something. Granted, they are the most pampered of inmates that the world has ever seen. Spas, daycares, walkers, dietitians, ass-hair braiders and all sorts of other peoples and amenities have been bestowed upon them whilst they are refashioned from their natural state.
One could argue (many have) that their "standard of living" has been much improved by humans versus having been left in the wild. Many have a higher standard of living than most people on the planet but that's another thing all together. Regardless, they are still domesticated or "taken from their wild state and altered to benefit humans". They are prisoners.
Those sorrowful eyes are telling. They want to be free. They want to carry on their houndish romps. If you doubt me, open up your door and see if it runs out, never to be seen again.
Unfortunately you probably won't see them again for two reasons. One, they'll find a new master or two, they don't have enough self preservation skills because humanity has bred it out of them to suit their "yes, you are" needs.
A cat's cuntish (mind the pun) stare, when it walks out the door, is simply shown to let you know that that shit don't fly with them and that they'll come back when they're god-damned good and ready ... with a gift.
meow
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